it has been more than a month since i turned the big eighteen. it didn't change much tbh, life has just been the same. 18 is just a number, same like 3 or 5 or 17. i don't have much feels and such when i turned 18. that sunday was just like any other sundays. normal. except for a fancier lunch my family had, but nothing much too.
how i felt about it was also nothing mental, just the basics. i am now one year closer to being a grandmother. some people celebrates their eighteenth birthday as if it was going to be life-changing. fact is, it isn't. you'll still wake up on monday morning feeling upset that it's already monday, and roll around until friday with a 34% body battery functioning. fridays will be the same ol' fun days where you get to stay up and binge your favourite netflix series. saturdays will be the going out + carefree days. sundays will still be the day of nightmares since the next day the week will start over again. so, conclusion is nothing has changed.
being 13 or 18 still makes me me. i am still my lonely ass self who talks by herself in the car, who tries not to offend people, and is probably rocking my rbf. maybe my thoughts about life has changed. maybe it isn't turning 18 that changed my life, it is more of spending a year being 17 that taught me lots.
1. i learned that guys are absolute jerks and i shouldn't expect them to not be jerks :)
i mean, because they are. and if you're a guy and you're reading this, you probably contain at least 23% of jerkiness in you. and i accept that. i don't expect you to not have any jerkiness in you, but i have come to learn that it is just how guys work. they might leave without notice, just poof! gone like that. or they might betray the relationship and just be a total ass jerk. no judge, it's just how the guys' nature are. the sweetness girls see in the first two weeks are probably just for show. don't get me wrong, i love guys. i just accept how their personalities are :)))))
2. i learned that not giving up is probably the best thing i have ever done this year
in the days where i was just really down and felt like crap, i was so ready to give up. things got difficult and rough and letting go may be the best option of that time (that's what my heart told me). but ethically, giving up probably isn't the best one. my brain finally woke up and got me into the 'warning mode' of life. my brain turned on my hazard siren in me and just told me to pick my ass up and try harder. the trying harder process though wasn't the funnest thing to do, however it led me back to where i was supposed to be. and it was great and felt great afterwards.
3. i learned that i don't need to keep up with everyone
i don't! because i am me. and keeping up with everyone and their drama, their lives, their latest updates and accomplishments won't get me any frickin' where. it would only bring me into a slump and carve a void inside me. it would not get my things done (and i have a pile of things to do such as my room that is looking like a shipwreck or the debris of a tornado storm, yup, that's me :)). i learned and came to realise that keeping the important people in my life and cutting the unnecessary + not important jerks out of my mind will bring me to a higher place of peace and gratefulness. (i mean if i don't send you my latest derp face, sorry to say, you aren't on my close friends list ok bai!) (loll jk tho)
4. i learned to trust my mom and listen to her words more
i had always been the small person that every time mom says A, i will do J. well, probably not every time but often times. i never wanted to listen and just ignore her words. but then, in my seventeen years of living, a thunder suddenly struck me and i finally tried to listen to her more. and let me tell you that it has done me so much good and cause me less trouble.
5. this is funny but i learned that sometimes weird situations i face are free life lessons for me
my childhood friend told me this but he said i always face weird cases or situations. i do not know why but maybe i just attract weird situations(?). and yes, it can be so weird sometimes. like having an awkward conversation about our used-to-be relationship with my ex-crush (or relationship without status guy?). or having someone creepy came up to me and asked for a picture and actually insisted when i said no. or going out of a restaurant forgetting to pay (forgive me! i didn't mean to not pay! i forgot!!!). and from each of those funny situations, i learned at least one thing to pack me up and help me get ready for the world (which i am already in XD).
and a lots more tbh. eighteen years of my life has just been mediocre. nothing fancy going on. mostly just mental things going through my head. how i felt about being 18? it felt good. i finally can do things i couldn't before, like... ok nvm. jk tho hehehe ... but being 18 also puts me in a pressure of having to be more mature in facing situations and talking and just as a person. i tend to feel like there is an obligation of being responsible with this and that. but that's what it's supposed to be, right? turning 18 means that i need to take in more responsibilities and i know i should.
with that said, i just want to say that life goes on. whether you're 3 or 18, life just goes on. so smile and get rid of unnecessary things or beings in your life! hehe :)
with much love,
ennik xoxo
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